We experience different kinds of struggles and chaotic problems in life but it is how we manage to deal with it. Like a typhoon, problem comes in our way in different circumstances. Some problems are hard to overcome but some has its simplest remedy. Like a typhoon, problems also leaves us something we unexpected to have but every problems we encounter has a lesson for us to learn.
You may see me walking down the street or the hallway with that big smile plastered on my face. That loud and noisy long-haired fat girl who can't stop from laughing even in the weirdest joke her buddies had shared to her. That girl who will intimidate you for no reason at all but when you got to know her, you will think differently.
But then again, what you see is just a half of my story. I don't tend to be overly dramatic or anything but I have also my own discouragements in life.
I was born and raised with love, care and God as the center of everything. I am not that kind of kid who has golden spoons in their mouth or those who can get anything they wanted. I was one of those many kids whose father is working abroad and lives with extended family. We ate three times a day. We can buy the things we needed most and I have a very loving parents. Indeed, I was just your normal and typical average kid.
When we were young, we haven't think of things that will complicate our lives. We argue on petty things with our playmates but soon reconcile with them in order for you to play with them again. We got wounded and bruised, we cried but nevertheless the one who will stop us cry are the things who are dear to our heart.
I was once and will always be a kid who believes in unicorn and fairy tales and happy endings. But, as the time goes by, I realized in every step that we'd take can change our lives. I once believed that I had a perfect family that everyone must be jealous of. You see, I've got a loving mother and a father who is willing to sacrifice everything for our future and a dear brother.
I was happy back then just to think that we eat supper together. We pray and we go to church. Everything seems on the right place and I should not worry anything but like all families all throughout the world, our family has its own flaws too.
My brother and I quarrel always and he hurts me physically. Every time that incident happens I got bruises,wounds. I tried to fightback but because he is much stronger to me, I end up with body pains.. I really hate him for doing that to me. I even tried to kill myself just to make him suffer and sorry for what he did to me. he always beats me even in the tiny details of our misunderstandings. I want him to be sorry and to let him pay every time he beats me up. Am I a bad sister? Maybe God can teach him some lessons. I despise him that much that I even think of filing a case against him or kill him. Yes, I know that's not a great idea but I can't handle the pain he is causing me. Then my dad acts as if nothing happened. He talked to my brother but not in a serious manner.I thought he will defend me or tell my brother to stop from beating me up but I was mistaken.
I feel lonely right now and I think no one cares about me. My mom died at a very young age so I don't have someone to talk to. My friends knows about this issue and I tell them everything but it seems that there's still a missing part.
i have lots to tell but my mind is pre-occupied of other things I need to do. Maybe someday i'll update again this post and i'll share every problems I had encountered. There a few more chapters about my life that hasn't yet been written but I hope in every trials that will come my way, I can still withstand it.
My discouragements in life might not be as hard as it may seem, but it somehow hurt me. It affected my life and how I live it. I became weak. But then I realized, it's a part of our life. We have to face it. We must overcome it. We cannot turn our backs with this problems, for they will not go away. I learned to face these discouragements with pride. I learned to stood up for my self. I helped myself to become a stronger person. I realized that some people hurt me so I would know who are the true people who would be there for me.
At the end of the poem "Ode to the West Wind", there was one very inspirational line written there, "If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?" In my own understanding, the poet means that in every discouragements, problems, pain and trials, there is still HOPE. Every person has their own problems but we must know that there is still Hope out there. We must never give up. And let's try one more time withstand the assault of life. And sooner or later, we'll succeed and will be happy. We'll be able to stand up from the trials that led us down. Think positive. Because I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. <3
Inspired by the problems I went through and an anonymous blogpost :)
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